About Erotic Relationships between African American Men and Women

Dear friends,

Prior to the Civil War, it was not uncommon for a free Black man who was in love with a woman who was held captive to sell himself to a slave master, whether that slave master was Black or white (and yes there were thousands of Black slave masters in the antebellum South), with the promise from the aforementioned slave master that he would free his female captive who that Black man wanted to marry, after a term of however long upon which they'd agreed.

After the Civil War the relationships between African American men and women remained fairly secure… However, especially starting with the first massive migration to the north (or here up South as opposed to down south), during WW1, the new northern African American male began taking on the traits of his European American counterparts. It became even worse after the second massive migration to the north (or here up South) during WW2 by African American males.

Still, the idea that females, regardless of skin color, are socialized from a very early age that their primary objective in life is to maintain the approval of boys and men, and having babies in order to "hook" a man, so that he will care for her for the rest of her life is the biggest problem. Of course, once most men - African or African American, Caribbean, Latino, Asian, Indigenous, European or European American, are able to get past their pathetic insecurities and inadequacies that have them  needing to find self-worth at the expense of females, then they will do as I did, that is, raise their daughters to be independent yet cooperative, self-sufficient, competent, loving, caring, and prosperous adults. That will also have a huge affect on how boys are raised. But this will require that both males and females embrace value judgments that are not based upon using each other as means to ends so that they can collect as many trinkets and baubles as possible.

G. Djata Bumpus