A Real Solution for Teenage Pregnancy (newly-edited version of original post of 3/13/10)

“It starts with the dolls” - Dr. Namandje N. Bumpus
Dear friends,

Lately, there’s been a lot of talk, regarding 90 teenage girls who are currently pregnant, at one particular high school in Memphis, Tennessee. Yet, at least to me, the whole approach of psychologists and sociologists to both sex education and teenage pregnancy won’t bring about a solution. Worse yet, the aforementioned so-called social scientists analyze people as if we are talking insects; that is, they act as if we are the same creatures, regardless of our social interactions and experiences. And so, they constantly come up with alleged methodologies for distinguishing “patterns” of behavior. Amazingly, these here-to-mentioned “social scientists” claim their “theories” to be so succinct that they must be the envy of physical scientists.

“It starts with the dolls”, one of my two daughters, Dr. Namandje Bumpus, a professor and research scientist at Johns Hopkins School of Medicine, insists. She says that girls are socialized to fail at being fully human the moment that they are given dolls. In other words, parents and others set them up, albeit unwittingly.

In, especially, post-agricultural societies, there are far too many roles for females to play outside of a nursery. Male Supremacy (the euphemistic term for “sexism”) sees this dilemma differently, of course, particularly since it (Male Supremacy) is responsible for the turn of events that creates teenage pregnancy in this advanced civilization, in the first place.

Of course, human oppression and exploitation themselves in human civilization, specifically, started many millennia ago, with Male Supremacy, as males began taking advantage of females due to their monthly periodicity and child-bearing capabilities. As sexist values would have it, these female strengths just mentioned became deemed as weaknesses. Even worse, through time, females themselves began to accept their “roles” as the “weaker” – or lesser - sex as “natural“.

In time, males started mistreating each other, with the excuse that the latter were like females. Hence, the pejorative expression in modern times when a male is displeased with another male is, “Ah man, you’re acting like a bitch.”

Nevertheless, at a very young age, girls need to know that males will impregnate anybody who gives them the opportunity. Here’s a short, but true, story that I’ve told young girls, for roughly a few decades. It goes like this:

Around 1981, I was walking with my then six years-old son, Kwame, on the always busy Market Street in Center City (i.e., downtown), Philadelphia.

As we crossed a street continuing down Market, we noticed a “deformed”, 20-something African American woman laying on a gurney who made moaning sounds as she begged passers-by to put money in a bucket that was on the ground in front of her. All four of her limbs (i.e., arms and legs) were only about six inches-long each. Standing next to her was a fellow about 30 years-old, not a bad-looking guy, slightly above average height, holding a baby.

Now, I must mention that this particular woman was featured about every five years or so in the famous African American weekly called Jet magazine. Nevertheless, in spite of her deformity, the magazine always showed her relative independence which included living on her own as a “single” mother. For instance, they would show pictures of her changing her baby’s diapers or writing down notes with her feet, or using a pencil or pen.

As a matter of fact, while I would get used to seeing her in Center City for a number of years after that day, that was the first time that I had ever seen her in person (i.e., outside of Jet magazine).

At any rate, as I kept walking with my small son, he said, excitedly, “Look Daddy. That woman doesn’t have any arms or legs!” I responded, “She doesn’t have any integrity either, Kwame.” A European American woman who was walking directly behind us laughed out loud in apparent agreement with my assertion.
You see, I was upset with the woman on the gurney, because the begging didn’t seem necessary. But I was even more upset with the pathetic guy standing with her who may have been the father of her child. (And she had another child, apparently by a different man who I saw accompanying her, a year or so after that).

The moral of the story is: Guys will have sex with anyone, so young girls, especially adolescents, don’t need to worry about “getting’ a man”. Please tell that tale to young girls who you know.

By the way, over the years, not a single one of the many young girls with whom I’ve shared that story has ever gotten pregnant as a teen, when I’ve run into them in their early to middle Twenties.

Of course, there are other inspiring stories, and being given some direction in life helps a great deal. Nonetheless, in a genuinely safe, loving environment, at home and in school, where, from birth, young people are encouraged, motivated, and inspired to excel, while parents, guardians, and other elders in the community, along with their school teachers, guide the aforementioned youngsters so that they learn how to show care and concern for, try to understand, and feel responsible towards other people - and “things” like their school work and house chores, such youngsters will have a better chance of either recognizing or not recognizing those traits just mentioned in others. That will help them in choosing happy, healthy friendships and other non-familial relationships.

By the way, my other daughter, Tia, is more than halfway through an MD/PhD program at another major medical school. Also, both she and her sister excelled at several sports and forms of art when they were growing up, prior to college. Children need experiences with success at home and in school. Please remember that success in sports and arts, for example, brings confidence. Moreover, confidence nourishes the soil from which self-esteem grows.

Consequently, whether female or male, all young people need to experience success at something other than dressing dolls – whether Barbie or GI Joe. If they get into the habit of that, then they will stay away from people and activities that contradict the notion of having a successful experience. Dig?

So, in this day and age, should females feel obligated to have kids? Additionally, is a female’s worth diminished because she’s not a mother? If your answer to the aforementioned inquiry is in the affirmative, then I must ask: is the value in that logic based upon the same lame ticket that Male Supremacy aka sexism sells. Worse yet, is it right?

Still, at least to me, our biggest problem is not the economy, global warming, or even nuclear war, much less teenage pregnancy or childhood obesity. Rather, it’s violence against females. Let’s keep it real!
By the way, while I have added a few comments here, a woman commented on the original piece that was posted on March 13th of 2010. It’s pretty powerful, what she had to say. Check it out!

Finally, please stop giving dolls to little girls. Buy them build-it-yourself models, chemistry sets, and mechanical gadgets instead. Help them discover all of the wonderful powers inside of them, like both physical and mental energy, memory, focus, and much more. Most importantly, as the great Khalil Gibran taught us, please pass on to both your daughters and sons, “You can’t control what other people think of you...Only you can control what you think of you.”

Cheers!

G. Djata Bumpus