Confronting Fear - Personally or Socially

“Fear lets us know that we are in danger. However, after that initial warning, we must push fear to the side – and act or perform accordingly…”

Dear friends, 

 Now, from the start, I must say that I am not talking about unexplainable, self-absorbed, psychological fears. One may be able to fight fears like acrophobia (heights), for example, to some extent. However, such concerns, while not necessarily limiting a person from all height-linked activities may still remain somewhat intact for many other situations. To be sure, avoiding confrontations with psychological fears, in some cases, may very well be the best choice, until one gets some psychiatric help. Therefore, I am speaking of genuine more unavoidable dangers that are/were initiated by another person. 

 In his classic work, A Philosophical Enquiry into the Origin of Our Ideas of the Sublime and Beautiful, Edmund Burke wrote,"No passion so effectually robs the mind of all its powers of acting and reasoning as fear. For fear being an apprehension of pain or death, it operates in a manner that resembles actual pain. Whatever therefore is terrible, with regard to sight, is sublime too, whether this cause of terror be endued with greatness of dimensions or not; for it is impossible to look on any thing as trifling, or contemptible, that may be dangerous.."

When I teach people how to fight, whether they are ordinary people or karate black belts (of whom I've taught many, including the guy who has since helped popularize the new martial art form called MMA, Kirik Jenness), I have found that the most effective way of getting people to address their fears (that is, inadequacies and insecurities about the "terror" of which Burke spoke above) is to help them understand that, while fear is usually looked upon as a negative emotion or impulse, it can actually be a great thing, inasmuch as fear lets us know that we are in danger. However, after that initial warning, we must push fear to the side - and act or perform accordingly, in a manner that allows us to maintain our integrity, dignity and self-respect. Otherwise, by keeping the fear, you are undermining your own ability to either act or perform well, that is, be yourself. Again, fear has absolutely NO use, after it gives you the initial warning!

Now, to be sure, that can be and usually is a tall order to confront fear. And it’s especially true, when fear comes into various social relationships, whether husband/wife, boyfriend/girlfriend, parent/child, siblings, classmate/bully, employer/employee, fellow workers, or landlord/tenant, for example.
Of course, people have to eat and live somewhere, and so forth, so they have to be tactful. Consequently, sometimes a person is forced to avoid an employer’s insults, rather than confront such a person/boss, just as a someone who suffers from acrophobia avoids mountain climbing. As well, many landlords act as if they are their tenants’ employers. And people do have to have roofs over their heads.

 Hence, confronting the fear of being unemployed or homeless, especially if one has others to whom s/he is responsible, can often, at best, call for one to simply have the courage to  approach an attorney, for consultation.

Still, our reactions to any particular incidents are culturally-defined, just as our appreciation or lack thereof are, regarding anything with which our minds, as well as our five senses, come into contact, depending upon that which we have experienced as individuals through our familial and social interactions. This is most evident, when a European American who is sitting in a car, whether the vehicle is moving or parked, pushes his or her car door's lock button down, as an African American approaches.

Confronting fear is tough, but please don’t forget: The other person is experiencing some kind of fear too. After all, there are no tough guys out here really. That’s why there are so many prisons and cemeteries. Those are the places where all of the folks who thought they were “tough” land. I mean, have you ever seen a perp, murder suspect or pick pocketer, give a tough look at the person in the black robe (judge), when, s/he is asked to enter a plea? Very humble. Eh? “Not guilty your honor.”, is mumbled. And whether they are professional boxers or simply people on the street, both contestants put their hands up, because they each have a reason for concern - fear. Therefore, please pay no attention to tough looks. Such impressions mean nothing, and can hurt no one. As well, as it is when one has a toothache, s/he can put off going to the dentist for a day or two, until s/he cannot stand the pain any longer. Yet, when finally leaving the dentist’s office, the relieved person always soliloquizes, “I should have done this two days ago.”

 In any case, the inner powers of mental stamina (as opposed to the outer power of physical stamina) and patience will surely bring results that one can appreciate, if not enjoy. In other words, regardless of how favorable or unfavorable the outcome is, when confronting fear, you will maintain the three hallmarks of self-esteem that were mentioned at the outset: Integrity, dignity and self-respect. Moreover, take a chance, be patient, think the situation through, and then act accordingly.

 Cheers!

 G. Djata Bumpus