About Erotic Relationships between African American Men and Women

Dear friends,

Prior to the Civil War, it was not uncommon for a free Black man who was in love with a woman who was held captive to sell himself to a slave master, whether that slave master was Black or white (and yes there were thousands of Black slave masters in the antebellum South), with the promise from the aforementioned slave master that he would free his female captive who that Black man wanted to marry, after a term of however long upon which they'd agreed.

After the Civil War the relationships between African American men and women remained fairly secure… However, especially starting with the first massive migration to the north (or here up South as opposed to down south), during WW1, the new northern African American male began taking on the traits of his European American counterparts. It became even worse after the second massive migration to the north (or here up South) during WW2 by African American males.

Still, the idea that females, regardless of skin color, are socialized from a very early age that their primary objective in life is to maintain the approval of boys and men, and having babies in order to "hook" a man, so that he will care for her for the rest of her life is the biggest problem. Of course, once most men - African or African American, Caribbean, Latino, Asian, Indigenous, European or European American, are able to get past their pathetic insecurities and inadequacies that have them  needing to find self-worth at the expense of females, then they will do as I did, that is, raise their daughters to be independent yet cooperative, self-sufficient, competent, loving, caring, and prosperous adults. That will also have a huge affect on how boys are raised. But this will require that both males and females embrace value judgments that are not based upon using each other as means to ends so that they can collect as many trinkets and baubles as possible.

G. Djata Bumpus Read full post

Love on the Bill Cosby Show

Fear friends,

This one and a half minute or so long video below is unfortunate, because Claire Huxtable's attitude was give-and-take, as opposed to explaining that the two of them were committed to sharing care and concern for each other, trying to always understand each other, and feeling responsible to each other. Otherwise, the relationship is not really based upon love for each other, but instead, they simply have a well regulated business-type partnership.

G. Djata Bumpus

Claire Huxtable's feminist rant.wmv

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Why Erotic Love is not Unconditional

"...through your five senses you are attracted to the other person by the way s/he looks, smells, sounds, feels to you and makes you feel, and even how s/he takes (kisses, and so forth)"

Dear friends,

Erotic love, a relationship that is based upon sexual intimacy, can never be unconditional as, say, love between a parent and child, or two or more siblings, because it is based upon conditions that are difficult to maintain (please see Erich Fromm's "The Art of Loving"). For example, through your five senses you are attracted to the other person by the way s/he looks, smells, sounds, feels to you and makes you feel to him or her, and even how s/he tastes (kisses, and so forth). Yet, even then, as we have feelings about anything, there are conflicting feelings at the same time .

Moreover, the standards for either familial or close friend relations are not so scrutinized. Worse yet, in a market-driven society such as ours, there seems to be a tendency for individuals who live in such a social formation that requires people to always be looking for the “latest model”, whether dealing with human beings or nonhuman consumables like cars and clothes. Hence, we are witnessing shorter and shorter lengths of time that couples are staying in erotic love relationships today, because people desire a “new” lover/latest model, just as much as they want nonhuman consumable like car s,clothes. and so forth.

Of course, all of this mentioned above has been made more evident than ever with the market construct that began in the 80s which turned homosexuality away from its rightful diagnosis as a mental health problem to an alleged "gay culture" that is not based upon a reproductive process - like that of African American, Latino, Indigenous, Asian, or European-American cultures, but simply refers to an increased availability of consumables (gay nightclubs, gay magazines, gay marriage, gay this, gay that, etc.). Let's face it. People, "famous" or otherwise, who feel that they need attention are now coming out of the woodwork (not the closet) claiming that they are gay/the latest model.

Perhaps, as we continue to evolve as a species we will all be able to appreciate our fellows within the context of our/their humanity, as opposed to using each other as a means to an end, by seeing each other as objects for consumption. For then, it seems, at least to me, that having unconditional love for a girlfriend, boyfriend, wife, or husband will not be so difficult, since the love will be based upon showing care and concern for, trying to understand, and feeling responsible towards that special person in a committed way, and not surrendering to the illusion called "ego"that makes us "want" something, just so that we can say that we have it.

One Love, One Heart, One Spirit !

G. Djata Bumpus
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Love & Boxing

Dr. Erik Muten

Dear friends,

I am both proud and honored to share a short (five minutes long) video with you that was done by noted Swedish clinical psychologist Dt. Erik Muten back in March of 2008..

It was a spontaneous interview that he produced, using a few of his students as technicians and the like. You can view it by simply clicking on the link below.

Cheers!

G. Djata Bumpus
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zv5fDqSex_0 Read full post

A Real Love Story

Dear friends,

Below is a short tale that was e-mailed to me, some years ago. I've slightly re-written what was originally sent to me by a very special friend of mine who lives in the Bronx (New York City). Nevertheless, the story always brings back memories to me, as a child who was raised inside of the Civil Rights Movement of the early- to mid- Sixties. It helps me recall the types of stories that we heard and the kind of songs that we sung. Moreover, at least to me, it represents a genuine love. Enjoy!

One Love, One Heart, One Spirit,
G. Djata Bumpus
*****************************************

A cruise ship was sailing on an ocean. It was packed with people and their cargo.

At some point, the ship's bottom hit a large object. The ship began sinking.

The water filled the ship so quickly that almost everyone aboard either drowned while still on board or as they tried to flee by swimming away from the vessel.

Two men, one bald-headed, the other - hairy and bearded, did survive, however. In fact, they were able to swim to a small island that was nearby.

The island was completely barren. There were no trees, plants, or animals - only sand and a few boulders here and there. Fortunately, the weather was nice, not too cold or hot.

The two men, now seemingly bound together, decided that the only thing that they could do is hope for some divine intervention.

They agreed that prayer was the answer. However, the bald man said, "I don't know whether or not we'll be saying the same type of prayers or asking for the same things...Why don't we just split the island in half and each of us can pray for himself?"

The bearded man went along with him.

A line was drawn in the sand. Each man stood on either side of it. Right away, each man dropped to his knees and began to pray.

The bald fellow prayed aloud for food. Lo and Behold! Out of nowhere, a banquet-size amount of food appeared in front of him.

The bald man looked over at the bearded man who was still praying and seemed to have added nothing to his situation.

The bald man then said to himself, "I don't know who he's praying to or what he's asking for, but he better learn how to pray like me, if he doesn't want to starve to death."

It was now getting late and the sky was darkening. The bald man decided that he'd try his luck again by praying for some shelter. So, once again, he got down on his knees and prayed. Well, what do ya know? A small shack appeared out of nowhere. The bald fellow jumped up and down, and ran towards the shack for a good night's sleep.

Just as he entered the doorway of his new abode, he looked over and saw that the bearded guy was still praying, but had nothing to show for it.

When he got up the next morning, the bald man went outside and saw the bearded man still kneeling down and praying. He yelled over to the bearded man, "Hey, what's the matter?...You don't know how to pray?"

The bearded man said nothing. He just kept praying.

The bald-headed guy was really beside himself with pride and confidence, by now. He decided that he would pray for a woman, because he was lonesome in his little shack.

Meanwhile, as fate would have it, as he prayed, another cruise ship had a wreck nearby. The only surviving passenger was a woman. She ended up on the island.

The excited bald man invited her in for food and gave her shelter. She gladly accepted.

However, after a few hours, they both began discussing the need to get off of the island and return to their previous lives.

The bald man now got down on his knees, for a fourth time, and prayed. However, nothing happened right away, like it had previously, so he and the woman went to sleep inside of the shack.

The next morning when they got up, looking outside, they saw that a boat was sitting right there on the shore, in front of them.

The bald-headed guy started dancing and jumping around, once again, to see that his prayers had been answered. "I'm going home!", he exclaimed.

The woman, although excited too, asked him whether or not they were going to take the bearded man with them. The bald guy responded, "Nope...Let him pray his way out of this by himself - like I did."

So, over to the boat the pair went. The bearded man was still on his knees praying.

Just as they reached the boat, the clouds darkened. There was thunder and lightening.

A deep voice from the sky roared, "Where are you going?..Are you going to leave the bearded man?"

The bald-headed guy looked up and replied. "He's been on his knees praying for almost three days and nothing has happened...Why should I help him?"

The deep voice responded, "Do you know what he's been praying for?"
Still looking towards the sky, the bald man said "No, I don't...What was he asking for?"

The voice told him: "He's been asking that all of your prayers be answered." Read full post

LOVE is the weapon of the strong!!!

Fear friends,

Only a weak person needs to find self-worth at the expense of someone else, by being mean and evil. Yet, it is much easier to be weak and hateful, so many people prefer to take that route, because it requires no effort.

.However, if you think about it, you feel bunched up inside with anger, when you do something mean. hat is, you don't feel good. On the other hand, you feel great, when you do something good. Don't you?

Please be strong and embrace the wisdom of LOVE.

G. Djata Bumpus Read full post